Vampires not scary anymore

Vampires are not very scary now.  I mean lets face it, when millions of girls have posters of today’s Hollywood vampires alongside pictures of Justin Bieber then you know times have changed.

Twilight: Justin Beiber

I admit I watch HBO’s True Blood.  It is addicting.  I also admit it is a soap opera.  The sad thing is, the vampires in it look scary when compared to those in the Twilight movies.  Somehow, I doubt the ones in the Vampire’s Assistant are  much scarier.  

Looking back at a teenage vampire flick from the 1980's that I loved, The Lost Boys, I remember them being somewhat similar pretty boy blood suckers.  The comparison ends there though.  Despite their heartthrob looks the bad guys in The Lost Boys were not falling in love with mortal girls, or anyone else for that matter.  They were vampires.    They were out for blood.  They had fun trying to kill people.  That is what vampires do.  That is until now I suppose.

Now vampires are supposed to wake up at night, pout their lips, put on some stylish clothes with lots of black in their ensembles, style their hair, and perhaps dab on some makeup.  If you see one you not grab a crucifix, nor holy water.   You would not run.  You would laugh and say, "Hey, emo kid, got get a ****ing tan."

It pains me to say that 30 Days of Night, which is a pretty abysmal movie, is the best vampire movie I have seen in the last few years, and I am not even a huge vampire fan.  I have always preferred werewolf movies.

I imagine if I see New Moon that I will look back at Wes Craven’s Cursed as a horror masterpiece.  

Yes, I know, I know, another 80’s film, Teen Wolf, did briefly try to take all the (cue lame pun) bite out of werewolf movies briefly and try to aim itself at a teen audience.  That was a comedy though, and Michael J. Fox did not walk around brooding, taking himself too seriously in it.  

Yes, these cool as hell new age vampires are bringing sexy back, but who is going to bring the fright back?  Where is Team I Pissed My Pants or Team He Bit my Head Off?

(Cue another bad pun) The final nail in the coffin:  Tom Cruise in Interview with The Vampire , in all his androgyny, put more fear into my heart than these latest so called Vampires.  Now that is really scary!