Thursday, April 21, 2011

But the yellow part is the good part

I like eggs.  I should be watching my cholesterol.   Everything I read says just eat the egg whites.  Simple.  Problem solved right? Uh, wrong!

Duh! Hello, the yolk is the yummy part.  Do the people writing articles about eggs stop the think about what they are saying? Just eat the white part?  How about you just drive in reverse?! Just the white part, get real.

Most people I know would rather not eat eggs at all  if they cannot eat the whole thing.  Sure, I have eaten just the white part mixed in some tuna salad.  Overall though, if I were to stop eating the yolk I would say my egg consumption would drop 90%.  Thus I would greatly lose out on the protein benefit of said white part.

So here is to you oh delicious egg yolk.  You taste so good with buttery toast and a side of bacon!


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Donald Trump White House's worst nightmare or GOP's worst nightmare?

The Donald, Donald Trump, claims he is the White House's worst nightmare.  Perhaps, but what if he is the worst nightmare for the GOP in their bid for regaining the presidency?

Can Donald Trump be any more obvious that he is saying all the things he thinks right wingers want to hear? He sounds so much like a caricature he is going to make most intelligent people, regardless of ideology suspicious of him.  The problem is, not everyone is intelligent.

Hence, he is just another name for the Grand Old Party to choice from.  Normally, I would blow him off and say it does not matter, because he will not end up being their golden selection.  With his money though, I would not count him out.

Were he to win the primary though, then all bets are off.  When it is boiled down to just the top few people running for the White House (really two since everyone unfortunately ignores anyone that is non-Republican or Democrat) then all of the media will bombard him with questions and hit him with things they have dug up from his background, but are saving up.

Right now Donald Trump sounds like he is going by some Conservative play book. First he questions Obama's birth certificate.  Next he gives cookie cutter answers and cute little stories anyone could easily make up to back his supposed stances.

His friend that almost had an abortion and now loves their child after not going through with it? That could be real, and it better be. The Donald better be ready to give out their name and bring them into the public to prove his story too.

Better watch out Donald Trump, or you might be the one who is fired.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

If I could go back in time

If I could go back in time, I would...

  1. Shake the hand of the person who invented Ramen Noodles
  2. Invest in Microsoft and Walmart before they got big
  3. Slap Marcia Griffiths for the Electric Boogie song
  4. Double Slap Mr. Cheeks for the Cha Cha Slide song
  5. Study harder..perhaps
  6. Use my Ipod to impress people and make them think I was some sort of god
  7. Save Tupac
  8. Inform people how bad things would be after George W. Bush ran the country for eight years
  9. Find the owners of the Triangle Waste Factory and shove my foot up their ****es
  10. Tell Raphael Palmero to just keep his mouth shut
  11. Win, duh
  12. Tell people why they should not board the Hindenburg
  13. Prevent Ghostbusters II from being made
  14. Prevent Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull from being made
  15. Hug whoever first thought up milkshakes
  16. Borrow a bass line from a Queen/David Bowie song and write stupid rap lyrics over it so I could become famous
  17. Find Doc Brown, help my would be dad overt trouble with Biff, while also helping him get the affections of my would be mom, then use my DeLorean  accompanied by a lightning strike at the old clock tower to get back to present day..or something like that
  18. Explain to Nate Dogg that the Chronic is apparently not the best medicine for everything
  19. Post humongous signs aboard the Titanic that read, "Warning: Giant Iceberg ahead"
  20. Buy lots of BarNone candy bars before they stopped selling them
  21. Tell Fred Savage and Ben Savage to save their money while they are young as the future does not look so bright for them
  22. Settle the Civil War with a slap bet
  23. Spend more time with loved ones that have passed on
  24. Mess with the Beatles and tell them no one will buy an album with a white cover
  25. Find Michael Jackson after his fifth facial surgery or so and say, "enough is enough already!"
Help me with more people.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Charlie Sheen bombed live? Duh!

Well of course Charlie Sheen bombed on the first night of his live show.

What were fans expecting? His is a ranting, raving lunatic who is desperate after getting fired by CBS.

So now some suckers pay to hear his ranting and raving and are disappointed? You should be embarrassed to even admit you paid good money to see Charlie Sheen live.  That is like admitting you got conned by a crackhead.  Oh wait, you did!