Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Advice for Jay Cutler from Regina George and more

Jay Cutler pumped
Relax Chicago Bears fans.  Now Jay Cutler can focus on the true championship, the Mr. Olympia.  Oops, sorry that is the wrong Jay Cutler.  I am sorry for mixing the two up. As Regina George, from Mean Girls would say, "I know, right?"
 I mean after all, The International Federation of Body Building's pro may take all sorts of anabolic steroids and human growth hormones, but at least he is not a quitter.  Oh, and he has won his sport's (is it really a sport? hmmm) ultimate title.

I was surprised the Jay Cutler who plays in the NFL got so upset when he heard what his contemporaries had to say about it.  I thought he would be like (another Regina George quote), "Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now. "

Kudos to Jessie Ventura for fighting the TSA.  He might seem a little crazy at times, but I think he has more common sense in one pinkie than most of our currently employed politicians do.  Jessie ain't got time to be felt up.  Heck, he ain't got time to bleed!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Why are older actors playing younger roles?

So I was watching The Hot Chick the other night.  I noticed one of the actors in it playing a high school student also played one in 2009’s Fired Up!.  So I checked to see how old The Hot Chick was.  It turns out it came out in 2002.  Not really surprising the actor, Eric Christian Olsen, is still playing younger characters, as he does look young, for his age.  

Old actors playing teenagers
Not only does it turn out he was way over the age he played in Fired Up!, but he was also much older than a high school student, at least one not held back constantly, at the time The Hot Chick was filmed.  He is close to 34 years of age.  His costar in Fired Up!? Well he, Nicholas D'Agosto, is about 30 years old.  Kind of ironic they were cracking jokes about people over 30 in the movie huh? Good inside jokes from Hollywood I suppose or perhaps just simple irony.

John Hughes was credited with having real teenagers in his movies.  That is true to a point.  Anthony Michael Hall, Molly Ringwald, Mia Sarah, Ilan Mitchell-Smith were all teenagers. Most of us know Matthew Broderick and Alan Ruck were well beyond his teenage years by the time Ferris Bueller's Day Off came out though.  This goes for many other stars of his films.  

Why does Hollywood constantly use older people to play teenagers? Someone suggested perhaps child labor laws, or because they want scenes that require nudity, kissing, etc that child actors would not be able to perform.  

Could it also just be that Hollywood wants everyone to have a perfect image? Lord forbid a teenager in a movie have a blemish!

So do you feel since movies are fantasy Hollywood should continue to put the best possible actor/actress, regardless of age, into such roles, or should they hire more true to age? Thoughts?

Monday, January 17, 2011

Vampires not scary anymore

Vampires are not very scary now.  I mean lets face it, when millions of girls have posters of today’s Hollywood vampires alongside pictures of Justin Bieber then you know times have changed.

Twilight: Justin Beiber
I admit I watch HBO’s True Blood.  It is addicting.  I also admit it is a soap opera.  The sad thing is, the vampires in it look scary when compared to those in the Twilight movies.  Somehow, I doubt the ones in the Vampire’s Assistant are  much scarier.  

Looking back at a teenage vampire flick from the 1980's that I loved, The Lost Boys, I remember them being somewhat similar pretty boy blood suckers.  The comparison ends there though.  Despite their heartthrob looks the bad guys in The Lost Boys were not falling in love with mortal girls, or anyone else for that matter.  They were vampires.    They were out for blood.  They had fun trying to kill people.  That is what vampires do.  That is until now I suppose.

Now vampires are supposed to wake up at night, pout their lips, put on some stylish clothes with lots of black in their ensembles, style their hair, and perhaps dab on some makeup.  If you see one you not grab a crucifix, nor holy water.   You would not run.  You would laugh and say, "Hey, emo kid, got get a ****ing tan."

It pains me to say that 30 Days of Night, which is a pretty abysmal movie, is the best vampire movie I have seen in the last few years, and I am not even a huge vampire fan.  I have always preferred werewolf movies.

I imagine if I see New Moon that I will look back at Wes Craven’s Cursed as a horror masterpiece.  

Yes, I know, I know, another 80’s film, Teen Wolf, did briefly try to take all the (cue lame pun) bite out of werewolf movies briefly and try to aim itself at a teen audience.  That was a comedy though, and Michael J. Fox did not walk around brooding, taking himself too seriously in it.  

Yes, these cool as hell new age vampires are bringing sexy back, but who is going to bring the fright back?  Where is Team I Pissed My Pants or Team He Bit my Head Off?

(Cue another bad pun) The final nail in the coffin:  Tom Cruise in Interview with The Vampire , in all his androgyny, put more fear into my heart than these latest so called Vampires.  Now that is really scary!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Auburn proves cheaters really do win in the end

Auburn pay for play
Auburn beat Oregon for the BS National Title...I mean BCS.  Auburn coach Gene Chizik spoke of God being on their side tonight.  I guess that means God likes dirt bags.

First of all, if there is a God, why would have not love Oregon as much as Auburn? Especially considering that everyone knows Cam Newton should be ineligible.  Everyone who has seen Auburn, including in the title game saw Nick Fairley continuously play dirty.   Watching him speak after the game, many would question how he made it into college.

For those who do not follow closely, most South Eastern Conference (SEC) teams are notorious for lower academic standards than some other conferences, and for oversigning.

That is not what won for Auburn tonight though.  No.  God loves the little thugs apparently.  Perhaps God will oversee the NCAA investigation into Cam Newton through to the end to make sure Auburn's title is not stripped from them.  Now that TCU has been kept out though I do not think God will be there for Auburn.

New movie: "The Roommate" - "Single White Female" anyone?

Has anyone seen commercials for the new movie, The Roommate?

It looks an awful lot like Single White Female.  This goes back to what I was talking about before.  Hollywood keeps rehashing the same stories over and over with new names and a few tweaks.

I understand at times, and am not opposed when something is loosely based on just the a generic premise, but some of these borderline plagiarism.

Also, if you are going to rip off someone else's work, at least pick something really good.  SWF? Meh, nothing memorable.  Then again maybe that is why they feel safe coping it.


Monday, January 3, 2011

One hit wonders - you will never be one and done to me

Ah yes, a subject covered repeatedly, yet that does not get old…let’s talk one hit wonders for a bit.
I am not Too Shy (Kajagoogoo) to discuss the songs I grew up with.  They are not guilty pleasures to me, because I have no guilt in announcing I love these songs.    We all know Video Killed the Radio Star (Buggles).  This allowed us a chance to watch MTV though, and learn to do The Safety Dance (Men Without Hats).   Ah yes, You Keep Me Hanging On (Kim Wilde) I’ve Been Thinking About You (Londonbeat).  
The lead singer of (Berlin) still Take(s) My Breath Away.   If I could tell her one thing, I would say I want to Melt With You (Modern English).    I would remind her We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off to have a good time (Jermaine Stewart).  It was not meant to be though.  It was just another case of Tainted Love (Soft Cell).
Of course the bad side of me would like a Nasty Girl (Vanity 6).  I would be hard pressed to resist the pleas of Touch Me (Samantha Fox) and I would be tempted to show her my Jungle Love (Morris Day and The Time).    A man can dream.   In reality she would tell me, “Keep your Hands To Yourself” (Georgia Satellites).  Yup, I would end up Eaten By the Monster of Love (Sparks).
Wow, I need to catch my breath for a minute! Whew! All these past memories are getting to me.  I think I will have a glass of Red, Red Wine (UB40).  That will calm my nerves.    Okay now I am Right On Track (Breakfast Club).  If you have read this far the you love these songs also, no matter how goofy they were, You know it’s True (Spandua Ballet).   Sweet Dreams Are Made of These (Eurythmics) classic hits. Unfortunately now you are only likely to hear them on the moldy oldie stations, elevators or Mexican Radio (Wall of Voodoo).
Oh Sister Christian (Night Ranger), I Miss You (Klymaxx) and your Betty Davis Eyes (Kim Carnes). You were my Obsession (Animotion).  I often still wonder,  Don’t You Want Me (The Human League)?  I Can’t Wait (Nu Shooz) to see you again.  We can get in my Fast Car (Tracey Chapman) and drive down Electric Avenue (Eddie Grant) to Saint Elmo’s Fire (John Parr).  We can Rock Steady (The Whispers) like we used to. Oh yes, remember those Dance Hall Days (Wang Chung)?  I will always remember The Promise (When in Rome) We made to never forget those past glory days.  
I am sad when reality strikes though and it is just another Blue Monday (New Order).   I sit and stair out at The Rain (Oran Juice Jones).  Yet no matter where I am, there’s Always Something There to Remind Me (Naked Eyes) of Our House (Madness).  I guess there is no going back really.  I sometimes feel like I have Shattered Dreams (Johnny Hates Jazz).  I get over these melancholy moments fairly fast though.   
Though I look mostly to the future, I still Wear My Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart).  After all, I can look to the future with no shame in the past, for I am The Warrior (Scandal) and I Love Rock N Roll (Joan Jett and The Blackhearts).  
Ah, dear reader I think I know Whats On Your Mind (Information Society).  You want to break out your old cassette tapes and Jam On It (Newcleus).  After all, deep down inside of you there is a Freak-a-zoid (Midnight Star) waiting to bust lose.  So don’t be shy.  Pump Up The Volume (M.A.R.R.S.).  Look Out Weekend (Debbie Debb) here we come!  It’s not just the Heat Of The Moment (Asia) and these are not Rumors (Timex Social Club).  You are ready to pronounce your love of these jams of the ‘80s!  Don’t You Forget About me (Simple Minds) when jamming now.  
Let us all give thanks.  Hold your Hands To Heaven (Breathe) and praise the almighty for such a glorious period in music history.  Don’t be shy.  Remember that Voices Carry ('Til Tuesday).  
Though we cannot Party All The Time (Eddie Murphy) once in a while we can drift away in our minds, pretending we are off to Key Largo (Bertie Higgins).   With our love for the music we will always Win In The End (Mark Safan).